2009: Picture Of The Year

"I told you I didn't want to be seen with you again."

"Oh. Sorry, Damian".

***

Quo's New Status

ROSSI:  OBE? Not bad on just three chords, eh Rick?

PARFITT:  I'm so old I've forgotten two of them.

***

link:  Quo's New Status

*

Well done lads - fully deserved.

Question: Why does Patrick Stewart get a Kighthood and Quo get OBE?

*

Undercover Agents

STEWARDESS: Excuse me sir, are you carrying a bomb?

UMAR FAROUK ABDULMUTALLAB: Certainly not!

DUTCH PASSENGER: Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire!

***

Ass Pleads For Mule

TRANSLATOR: ...and if we are prepared to

excute a mad drug mule

what chance was there that we would listen to

the Mad Prime Minister

of Great Britain?

***

link:  Ass Pleads For Mule

*

99 Shopping Days To The Election?

GORDON: Shall I stuff the Turkey, dear?

SARAH: You've had plenty of practice

stuffing the country.

***

Political Climate Change

You didn't think we were serious when we said:

"Copenhagen is the World's last chance"

did you?

We meant -

Last Chance before Christmas.

***

Boomerang Effect

OK, listen everyone:

if you're going to start throwing the mobiles

back at me - I'm ready.

***

Sarah's Phone Bills

The reason why I made lengthy calls to

Gil in Canterbury at tax-payers' expense

is because

Gordon had thrown my mobile

at somebody.

***

link:  Sarah's Phone Bills

*

Brown's See-Through Transparency

It's not a Summerhouse:

it's a building in the garden.

And it's not a deficit:

it's a set of figures that demonstrate my

Fiscal Prudence.

***

link:  Gordon Brown's Summerhouse

*

What A Balls-Up

Give it here!

If I have to pay the expenses back

I'm taking the

Sponsored Ball

with me as well.

***

link:  What A Balls-Up

Deckchairs

BROWN: Did you mention the cuts?

DARLING: No, I forgot.

BROWN: No worries.

***

Hot Debate

And the award for

"Most Innovative Idea To Combat Global Warming"

goes to...

Gordon Brown of the UK.

For:

Heathrow - Third Runway.

***

Star Quality

Just walk away, Renee

You won't see me in a Witherspoons

***

link:  Reese or Renee?

*

Post Early For...

Two years late?

Well don't blame me - blame The Postman.

***

Una Paloma Wanka

Gordon, Spain is NOT in the G20.

Oh, right.

When did it leave?

***

...And Into The Fire Hydrant

"Fore!"

[I think three's quite enough, Mr Woods]

***

Update:

[Ten...???!!! You definitely won't make the cut now, Mr Woods.]