I wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
All, that is, except:
David Miliband who is no longer on my Christmas Card List.
New Labour - especially Mandelson - Dead Parrot or what? [the old jokes are the best].
The Unions: I'm my own man so stop already with your talk of strikes and comrades.
And, above all, Tony Blair and Gordan Brown: you're yesterday's men so go off and retire completely and shut the fuck up - no more books - and leave me in peace to screw up on my own.
[You may have noticed the disappearance of the White Patch: I got fed up with Tom Baldwin bending over me and sniffing it all the time. And, no: there is no significance in the absence of snow on my Christmas Card].