Thursday, 30 December 2010

Oh Yes He Is!

BRYANT: Calling me a "Pantomime Dame" shows that
George Osborne is trying to make me
look rediculous.


link:  Oh Yes He Is!


Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Red Ed's Herod Strategy

HEALEY: We now discover that not only
has the Coalition cut 'flu' jabs
for the under fives
but they also are going to kill
the first born of every family in the country.


Tuesday, 28 December 2010

Monday, 27 December 2010

Technology Wizard Of Oz

PONTING: Are you blind, Ump?
Can't you see the Ashes slipping through my fingers?


Sunday, 26 December 2010

No Mention Of The "A" Word, Then

Sport is extremely important to all
our young people.
I cannot, for the life of me, understand
why every school doesn't have
its own Polo team.


Saturday, 25 December 2010

Who Put The Coal In Coalition?

Nasal spray for Ed;
Ciggies for Nick;
and cable-ties for Dave.


Friday, 24 December 2010

Absence Of Snow

I wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

All, that is, except:
  • David Miliband who is no longer on my Christmas Card List.
  • New Labour - especially Mandelson - Dead Parrot or what? [the old jokes are the best].
  • The Unions: I'm my own man so stop already with your talk of strikes and comrades.
  • And, above all, Tony Blair and Gordan Brown: you're yesterday's men so go off and retire completely and shut the fuck up - no more books - and leave me in peace to screw up on my own.
[You may have noticed the disappearance of the White Patch: I got fed up with  Tom Baldwin bending over me and sniffing it all the time. And, no: there is no significance in the absence of snow on my Christmas Card].


Thursday, 23 December 2010

Take Your [Senior] Partners, Vince

Shocking new revelations from secret recordings
have revealed that Conservative Ministers
"quite like" Liberal Democrats;
that they think that Nick Clegg is
"cute" and "harmless";
and that Vince Cable is a
"good egg"
who would have been welcomed
into the Bullingdon Club.


Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Cable and Screw Loose?

The main problem is that the
wound in my foot
will restrict my dancing
on Strictly.


Monday, 20 December 2010

Red Ed's Cold Front

Len McCluskey, new boss of UNITE,
claimed today that the bad weather
that has closed Heathrow
was part of the Coalition's
"explicitly ideological programme"
to prevent the union going on strike against
British Airways.


Sunday, 19 December 2010

Christmas Cards, Christmas Songs

CAMERON & CLEGG: [duet] I Got You, Babe.

MILI-MINOR: Oh No, Not My Baby.


Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Speaking In Blank Verse

Special 2 for 1 deal!

Policies WITH Jokes!

[or is it Joker without Policies?]


link: buy here


Come Now, Julian

A new perspective on
has emerged with
Julian Assange
being accused of using a
broken condom.


Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Blogging a Dead Horse?

DALE: No more bloggin' but I will be
forever blowin' bubbles
[as Michael Jackson once said].


Thanks, Iain, and Good Luck!


Monday, 13 December 2010

Red Eddy, Yellow Eddy

I want to call on disillusioned
Liberal Democrats
to join with the Labour Party
which knows all about disillusionment
seeing as it's disillusioned with me.


Friday, 10 December 2010

And By The Way - Which One's Pink...?

He don't need no educay-shon...


Close, But No Cigar

Never have so few owed so much for
so many years.


Variety Of Life

CAMILLA: These are your subjects, Charles!

CHARLES: In that case I think I'll plump
for the pre-abdication option.


Thursday, 9 December 2010

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

Order, Order, Grumpy

McLOUGHLIN: The Speaker has no right to
addess me from a sedentary position.
Ooops, sorry, Mr. Speaker. I thought
you were sitting down.


Monday, 6 December 2010

Scarlet Billows

The Foreign Office has warned
people about diving into
Liberal Democrat politics -
as sharks are circling.


Sunday, 5 December 2010

No Racism At Russian World Cup

KATIA: I spy, with my little eye, something
beginning with N...


Friday, 3 December 2010

Sun May Go Down Later

From The Sun:
An artist's impression of what
night may be like if the
daylight-saving plan is introduced.


link: daylight-saving

Thursday, 2 December 2010

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Bend It Like Cameron

CAMERON: So, Wills, you invite the delegates to
the wedding; David you offer them a
night with Posh; and I'll give
them a Knighthood, a personal photographer
and a free holiday in Thailand.


Monday, 29 November 2010

Leaking The Bleedin' Obvious

Shock News: The United States
slags off other countries without telling them!


Friday, 26 November 2010

Thursday, 25 November 2010

In-Flight Entertainment

Damned Commoners and their
breeding habits.
This country will rue the day after
April 29th, you mark my words.


Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Monday, 22 November 2010

Saturday, 20 November 2010

Red Ed Comes Of Age

I am now a fully fledged
Opposition Leader
because I used the word
whilst not wearing a tie.


Friday, 19 November 2010

No More Sitting For Stand-Up

ALEX: Tch, tch, Jason: knocked out of One for
knocking one out?


Thursday, 18 November 2010

Berlusconi Loves A Mars

VENUS: Two little pricks in the office are
better than one, I suppose.



Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Plighting The Troth

WILLIAM: Well I thought I'd make use of
my Mum's ring and my Dad's fidelity.


Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Royal Wedding Special

Austerity measures blah!

The Nation can afford it!


Monday, 15 November 2010

Your Starter For Five To Ten

Oh My God - someone's started a
fire down there!
I'd better chuck down this


Friday, 12 November 2010

140 Characters

Censored redacted expunged bowdlerized
erased stifled suppressed expurgated
screened edited revised squashed
repressed smothered.



Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Can't Pay, Won't Pay

...And we demand to be treated like adults:
we want an end to cheap booze in Union bars,
no more subsidized travel and
rent that properly reflects full commercial rates.


Tuesday, 9 November 2010

China 9, Liberty 37

GOVE: Dave, do you think now would be
a good time to mention the
Nobel Prizewinning Dissident...

OTHERS: Shuddup and keep drinking.


The Buck Stops... Er... Over There Somewhere

Water boarding...?
I'm told it's just like surf boarding but you
don't get the tan.


Monday, 8 November 2010

Who's Yer Uncle?

We haven't decided on a name yet - but it's not
going to be David.


Sunday, 7 November 2010

One's Social Network

So... who's going to be first to
Poke the Queen?


Thursday, 4 November 2010


CAMERON: And these are my own
personal paparazzi.