Friday, 30 April 2010

Child's Play

DARLING: Gordon, after all the trouble with
your handwriting
why have you scrawled across
all these posters?


Time's Up To Lodge Complaints

CAMERON [chanting]
And we will expel every social evil from this
Big Domain
that we are all in together, my brothers.

CLEGG/BROWN [chanting]
We concur, Oh High Grand Master.


Thursday, 29 April 2010

And Another New Election Strategy

I'm travelling round this great country of ours
meeting as many ordinary bigots as I can.


Tuesday, 27 April 2010

He Only Spins When He's Winning

No, Adam, I don't need to be elected.
I rule by the
Divine Right of Queens.



Monday, 26 April 2010


BALLS: Can I use my mobile on this, Andy?

BURNHAM: No, Ed: we passed a law against it, remember?


Dirty Milly

BROWN: Take that banana out of my back, David.

MILLIBAND: It's not a banana. This is a
point 44 Magnum,
the most powerful handgun in the world.
Do you feel lucky, punk? 



New Election Strategy Revealed

HARMAN: Peter...



Sunday, 25 April 2010

The Highest Level Of Political Debate [The Yes/No Interlude]

NOLAN: So, Harriett Harman: is your name
Harriett Harman?

HARMAN: Well… er… Stephen… er… it’s not… er… it’s
not that it isn’t…er… it’s more that… that… er…
it might be if it… er… was…



Saturday, 24 April 2010

Cable & Clueless

I would argue for a broad fisting neutrality.
It's a policy I devised with
Mark Oaten.


link:  Cable & Clueless

Heartbreak Hotel

BROWN: They told me you were dead.

ELVIS: Not as dead as you'll be on the 6th.


Wednesday, 21 April 2010


And, of course, if all else fails,
we can use a large chicken
to remind everyone that I am
a man of substance.


Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Caesar The Moment

I came...

I saw...

I concurred.
[with everyone]


Saturday, 17 April 2010

TV Fallout

Picture shows the eruption from
No 10 Downing Street
when the post TV Debate polls
were published.


Thursday, 15 April 2010

TV Debate?

[old, poor quality, patchy reception - soon to be switched off]

[new, good quality, HD, 3D, DaveD - everyone's changing to it]



Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Monday, 12 April 2010

2nd Division Bell

YVETTE:  [writing] What do you think of it so far, Liam?

LIAM: [writing] Another Balls-up by hubby dear.

YVETTE:  [writing] Yeah. He really does spend too much time
closetted in the bunker with Gordon. Blustering is infectious.

LIAM:  [writing] Don't worry, Babe. Ed will lose his seat
and the leadership will be ours yours. x



Friday, 9 April 2010

The Afghanistan Factor

If you don't vote for me
we're gonna SHOOT you!



Tuesday, 6 April 2010

Cabinet Support

Now, hands up those who would like a
picture of me
on their election leaflet.


By Your Leave, M'am

About flippin' time, Brown.


Monday, 5 April 2010


Red-faced Chezza has admitted that
Orange-faced Tone's Tan
was the real cause of  the
"fire emergency"
at their Buckinghamshire Palace
country gaff.


Saturday, 3 April 2010

Sun Tan Socialism

The spoils of New Labour:
Tony Blair's house in Buckinghamshire.



Friday, 2 April 2010

As The Crow Flies

Our database is complete and up-to-date.
It's just that some people don't realise
that they are members of the RMT
or that they work on the railways.


Thursday, 1 April 2010

Eat It / Beat It

Osborne is like a kid in a sweetshop.
Unfortunately we've pigged most of the sweets
and given the rest away.
But we know we can always borrow
more from a good
British Company like Cadbur....


April Fool

The statistics show that I have
never lied
to the British People.