Thursday, 30 September 2010

Party Pooper

You bastard, Ed.
You arranged this Union funded
"surprise" leaving party for me
the leadership election.



Wednesday, 29 September 2010

He Was Too Heavy, He Was My Brother

Now take your fucking football and get out of here.

Some banana republic, somewhere, will want me.


Exit Stage Right

MILI-MAJOR: Why are you clapping...?

HARMAN: Because my initials are HHH.
Harriet Hypocrisy Harman.


Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Thursday, 23 September 2010

You've Got Family

If I win then obviously David
will be my Shadow Chancellor.

If he wins then I'm taking my
Scalextric back.


Saturday, 18 September 2010

Buy Me And Stop One

POPE: Oh! Now I get it! Condoms?
Anyone need condoms?


Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Careless Driver

I'm never gonna drive again
Guilty feet have got no road-sense


Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Number One Best [Self] Seller

CLINTON: Well deserved, Tony. A medal for
Taking The Liberty.


Suffer The Little Children...

Tickets...? Anyone need tickets...?


Monday, 13 September 2010

Dinosaurs Я Us

Thirteen years we've waited for this
opportunity. Now let's roll up our sleeves
and hold the country to ransom.


Saturday, 11 September 2010

It's A God Thing

We will not burn the Koran. Not today, not ever.
Instead we will burn
"The Hungry Caterpillar".


Friday, 10 September 2010

Absence Of Predators

And not only do these Red Top Assassins
print, lies, smears and innuendo,
they also disseminate news - totally unacceptable.


Editorial Control

Yeah... I know. Thank God there's
a whale story today.


Thursday, 9 September 2010

Reverse Spin

CAMERON: Look Andy, get them to publish the
hacking strory in The News Of The World
then nobody will believe it.


Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Pouring Oil On Troubled Waters


It wasn't really our fault because
technically the oil didn't belong to us.


Diamond Geezer

Er... am I missing something when
Lib-Dems keep calling me
"a complete banker"?


Monday, 6 September 2010

Tapping & Hacking

Hello... Oh, sorry My Lord - your number
must have still been in my contacts.


Sunday, 5 September 2010

More "Males Sharing Twin Rooms" Fallout

WAYNE: Honest, Col, she means nothing.
I only did it to prove I'm not gay.


Friday, 3 September 2010

Zebedee About?

FLORENCE: So where's Uncle Nick?


Thursday, 2 September 2010

Guido Gets His Man

The gay and the not-so-gay.

[Check out Guido Westerwelle before suing]


Vanity Blair

Basically what I am saying is this:
vote for me - even though I'm not standing.