Friday 29 January 2010

Blair's Crusade


Would I change anything if I had to do it all again?
Well, open-necked, pure-white, designer shirt,
khaki chinos, brown shoes: I call it
Soft Military Chic.
Of course I wouldn't change it.

I did try to tell Gordon...




***

Thursday 28 January 2010

Throwing Money At It



Right, everyone.
New Election Strategy:
We are going to pay all Labour defectors
to return to us.

Yes Alistair. I know we're broke.
But we'll just borrow the money.


***


Tuesday 26 January 2010

Thanks Bob, But No Thanks



We're out of Recession!
Whoohoo!
Let's have an election immediately!


***


Monday 25 January 2010

Mayday! Mayday!



That's it, Bob. Cover your mouth - and
keep it covered.


***




Sunday 24 January 2010

Flipping Houses



BROWN: Peter, questions are being asked about you living in a nice house in Regents Park.

MANDELSON:  Gordon, questions are being asked about you living in a nice house in Downing Street.


***


*


Saturday 23 January 2010

Caught U Kipping



LORD PEARSON: You try putting on a balaclava and wandering round an airport and see what happens to you.

WOMAN IN BURKA: Well, they wouldn't see it under this, would they?


***

Hat-tip link:  Fawkes & Nomates

*

Friday 22 January 2010

Anonymity Guaranteed


I have decided that I will attend the
Chilcot Inquiry
before the election...
because after the election
no-one will remember who I am.


***


Wednesday 20 January 2010

A Flake Worse Than Death 1



And I name this new
Cadbury's Chocolate Bar
"Platitude"


"The one thing I want to say is this: we are determined that the levels of investment that take place in Cadburys in the United Kingdom are maintained and we are determined of course, that at a time when people are worried about their jobs, that jobs in Cadbury can be secure."


***

Monday 18 January 2010

Slush Puppy



No, it's just not true that I had a
"Fund With No Name"

It was called:
"Gordon's Private Stash to Screw
The Bastard Blair".


***

link:  Slush Puppy

*

Sunday 17 January 2010

Skeletons...



The knife's in, Peter, now just keep twisting it.


***

link:  Skeletons...

*

Friday 15 January 2010

Wednesday 13 January 2010

Keeping Up With The Camerons



No, Gordon.
You airbrush the photograph
not the actual person.


***

link:  PMQ's today

*

Tuesday 12 January 2010

Sexing It Down



The Iraq war wasn't my fault.
It wasn't Tony's fault.
In fact, I think you will find if this inquiry digs
deep enough, that it was entirely
Gordon Brown's fault.


***


*

Saturday 9 January 2010

Losing The Plot



HOON: I think my original idea was better.

HEWITT: What - standing up in the House and shouting:
"If you all hate Gordon clap your hands"?
Maybe.


***


Monday 4 January 2010

Fashion Loser



Ok, but I'm very good at
dressing up policies.


***

link:  Fashion Loser

*

Saturday 2 January 2010

New Labour, New Light Bulbs



Dim, slow to switch on,
and you can't give them away.

[Gordon Brown and his Policies]


***


*

Friday 1 January 2010