Monday 29 November 2010

Leaking The Bleedin' Obvious


Shock News: The United States
slags off other countries without telling them!


***

Friday 26 November 2010

Thursday 25 November 2010

In-Flight Entertainment


Damned Commoners and their
breeding habits.
This country will rue the day after
April 29th, you mark my words.


***


Wednesday 24 November 2010

Monday 22 November 2010

Saturday 20 November 2010

Red Ed Comes Of Age




I am now a fully fledged
Opposition Leader
because I used the word
"Disgraceful"
whilst not wearing a tie.


***


Friday 19 November 2010

No More Sitting For Stand-Up


ALEX: Tch, tch, Jason: knocked out of One for
knocking one out?


***


Thursday 18 November 2010

Berlusconi Loves A Mars


VENUS: Two little pricks in the office are
better than one, I suppose.


***


*


Wednesday 17 November 2010

Plighting The Troth


WILLIAM: Well I thought I'd make use of
my Mum's ring and my Dad's fidelity.


***


Tuesday 16 November 2010

Royal Wedding Special


Austerity measures blah!

The Nation can afford it!


***


Monday 15 November 2010

Your Starter For Five To Ten


Oh My God - someone's started a
fire down there!
I'd better chuck down this
extinguisher!


***


Friday 12 November 2010

140 Characters



Censored redacted expunged bowdlerized
erased stifled suppressed expurgated
screened edited revised squashed
repressed smothered.

Twittered.


***


Wednesday 10 November 2010

Can't Pay, Won't Pay


...And we demand to be treated like adults:
we want an end to cheap booze in Union bars,
no more subsidized travel and
rent that properly reflects full commercial rates.


***




Tuesday 9 November 2010

China 9, Liberty 37


GOVE: Dave, do you think now would be
a good time to mention the
Nobel Prizewinning Dissident...

OTHERS: Shuddup and keep drinking.


***


The Buck Stops... Er... Over There Somewhere


Water boarding...?
I'm told it's just like surf boarding but you
don't get the tan.


***


Monday 8 November 2010

Who's Yer Uncle?




We haven't decided on a name yet - but it's not
going to be David.


***

Sunday 7 November 2010

One's Social Network


So... who's going to be first to
Poke the Queen?


***


Thursday 4 November 2010

Smile!


CAMERON: And these are my own
personal paparazzi.


***


Wednesday 3 November 2010

Tuesday 2 November 2010

Entente Hyper-Cordiale


CAMERON: And we'll call it the
Royal Air Frogs.


***

Monday 1 November 2010

Ravin' Nutts


COP THROUGH MEGAPHONE:
All those taking substances like
Crack, LSD, Heroin and Crystal Meth
can stay and continue to party.
All those drinking alcohol will be arrested.


***


Goal Line Twatology


BECK:  Nani definitely handled.

CLATTENBURG:  Yeah. But I've got a bet on for 2 - 0.


***