Thursday 30 December 2010

Oh Yes He Is!


BRYANT: Calling me a "Pantomime Dame" shows that
George Osborne is trying to make me
look rediculous.


***


link:  Oh Yes He Is!

*



Wednesday 29 December 2010

Red Ed's Herod Strategy


HEALEY: We now discover that not only
has the Coalition cut 'flu' jabs
for the under fives
but they also are going to kill
the first born of every family in the country.


***


Tuesday 28 December 2010

Monday 27 December 2010

Technology Wizard Of Oz


PONTING: Are you blind, Ump?
Can't you see the Ashes slipping through my fingers?


***


Sunday 26 December 2010

No Mention Of The "A" Word, Then


Sport is extremely important to all
our young people.
I cannot, for the life of me, understand
why every school doesn't have
its own Polo team.


***


Saturday 25 December 2010

Who Put The Coal In Coalition?


Nasal spray for Ed;
Ciggies for Nick;
and cable-ties for Dave.


***


Friday 24 December 2010

Absence Of Snow



I wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

All, that is, except:
  • David Miliband who is no longer on my Christmas Card List.
  • New Labour - especially Mandelson - Dead Parrot or what? [the old jokes are the best].
  • The Unions: I'm my own man so stop already with your talk of strikes and comrades.
  • And, above all, Tony Blair and Gordan Brown: you're yesterday's men so go off and retire completely and shut the fuck up - no more books - and leave me in peace to screw up on my own.
[You may have noticed the disappearance of the White Patch: I got fed up with  Tom Baldwin bending over me and sniffing it all the time. And, no: there is no significance in the absence of snow on my Christmas Card].


***



Thursday 23 December 2010

Take Your [Senior] Partners, Vince


Shocking new revelations from secret recordings
have revealed that Conservative Ministers
"quite like" Liberal Democrats;
that they think that Nick Clegg is
"cute" and "harmless";
and that Vince Cable is a
"good egg"
who would have been welcomed
into the Bullingdon Club.


***

Wednesday 22 December 2010

Tuesday 21 December 2010

Cable and Screw Loose?


The main problem is that the
wound in my foot
will restrict my dancing
on Strictly.


***


Monday 20 December 2010

Red Ed's Cold Front


Len McCluskey, new boss of UNITE,
claimed today that the bad weather
that has closed Heathrow
was part of the Coalition's
"explicitly ideological programme"
to prevent the union going on strike against
British Airways.


***


Sunday 19 December 2010

Christmas Cards, Christmas Songs


CAMERON & CLEGG: [duet] I Got You, Babe.

MILI-MINOR: Oh No, Not My Baby.


***

Wednesday 15 December 2010

Speaking In Blank Verse


Special 2 for 1 deal!

Policies WITH Jokes!

[or is it Joker without Policies?]


***

link: buy here

*


Come Now, Julian


A new perspective on
Wikileaks
has emerged with
Julian Assange
being accused of using a
broken condom.


***

Tuesday 14 December 2010

Blogging a Dead Horse?


DALE: No more bloggin' but I will be
forever blowin' bubbles
[as Michael Jackson once said].


***


Thanks, Iain, and Good Luck!

*



Monday 13 December 2010

Red Eddy, Yellow Eddy


I want to call on disillusioned
Liberal Democrats
to join with the Labour Party
which knows all about disillusionment
seeing as it's disillusioned with me.


***


Friday 10 December 2010

And By The Way - Which One's Pink...?


He don't need no educay-shon...


***

Close, But No Cigar


Never have so few owed so much for
so many years.


***


Variety Of Life


CAMILLA: These are your subjects, Charles!

CHARLES: In that case I think I'll plump
for the pre-abdication option.


***


Thursday 9 December 2010

Wednesday 8 December 2010

Order, Order, Grumpy




McLOUGHLIN: The Speaker has no right to
addess me from a sedentary position.
Ooops, sorry, Mr. Speaker. I thought
you were sitting down.


***

Monday 6 December 2010

Scarlet Billows


The Foreign Office has warned
people about diving into
Liberal Democrat politics -
as sharks are circling.

***


Sunday 5 December 2010

No Racism At Russian World Cup


KATIA: I spy, with my little eye, something
beginning with N...


***





Friday 3 December 2010

Sun May Go Down Later


From The Sun:
An artist's impression of what
night may be like if the
daylight-saving plan is introduced.


***

link: daylight-saving

Thursday 2 December 2010

Wednesday 1 December 2010

Bend It Like Cameron


CAMERON: So, Wills, you invite the delegates to
the wedding; David you offer them a
night with Posh; and I'll give
them a Knighthood, a personal photographer
and a free holiday in Thailand.


***