Thursday, 27 June 2013

Monday, 24 June 2013

The Mitchell Effect

You know you'll have to take it through the
side gate when you leave.


Institutional Camouflage

Neville, do you think this guy's an
undercover racist?


Sunday, 23 June 2013

The Prism Effect

Iceland clearly has its own fair share of mountains
so why would it want to poach
Snowden as well?


Saturday, 22 June 2013

Do You Want To Know A Secret?

And the most surprising thing about the whole
Edward Snowden episode is the revelation that
cheesemakers make cheese.


Thursday, 20 June 2013

Soul Mates

...then I called him Jeffrey again and his
bottom lip began to quiver - I thought he
was going to burst into tears!


Monday, 17 June 2013

The Physical Impossibility Of Death...

....and Charles strangles.


G8 Mates

I appreciate your input, Vlad, but I'm not sure
an arm-wrestle is the right way to solve
the Syrian crisis.


Friday, 14 June 2013

Close To The Sun

Frankly, me having an affair with Wendi Deng is
about as likely as, say, an affair between
Rebekah Brooks and Andy C...


Democracy At Work

Ed Miliband plays politics on Europe.


Tuesday, 11 June 2013

What Me, Guv?

I was only trying to protect the interests of the
Green Lobby.
What do you mean "Tim Yeo is the Green Lobby"?


Sunday, 9 June 2013

Publish And Be... Rich

We take our responsibilities as a publisher seriously:

Through Google you can find some
serious child pornography.


Friday, 7 June 2013

Ed's Big Week

Some people say I only listen to Ed Balls.
Others say I only listen to the Unions.
Others again say I only listen to my Dad from up above
[God rest his soul].

The truth is I am my own man.
I only listen to Willy Wonka.


Thursday, 6 June 2013

The Bilderberg Effect

For the avoidance of doubt we are NOT
appearing at
The Grove, Watford
this week.



It will be a flexible cap and I will
raise it and lower it just like this.


Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Editors' Notes

Dear Cools,
How I miss those country suppers.

Dear Reds,
How I miss the horse.

Dear Both,
Just fuck the fuck off, will you?


Monday, 3 June 2013

Headline Grabbers

Back in the day at The News Of The World
we were Old School.
If it shagged we nailed it.


Saturday, 1 June 2013

Lobby Fodder

Nothing doth it profit a man to sell his soul
for the whole world.

But for Fiji...?!